A Day to Remember

I don’t know how to describe this experience; it’s hilarious yet heartbreaking. Well, I woke up very early this morning, brushed my teeth, swept the compound and went to take my shower. I washed up quickly and came back in to dress. Standing in front of the dressing mirror naked, I turned to check my buttocks to confirm whether I had gained extra flesh there. It was still the same; flat as my mother’s occipital, I chuckled. Then I went to my wardrobe and brought out a scarlet pleated dress, a panty, an underwear, and a bra. I dumped them on the dressing table and went back checking myself in the mirror again. I then took my panty first, wore it, and then my bra, and my underwear subsequently. The pleated dress was last. I grabbed my Mongolian double-drawn wig cap from the stand, combed it to perfection, and wore it carefully over my wretched-looking cornrow. I stepped my feet into my black pair of heels. Whew! I’m all set. I applied some foundation on my face, drew my eyebrows with a dark brown pencil and brushed my eyelashes with a mascara. I was looking angelic now. I rushed out of the house to catch a trotro to my destination. I didn’t want to be late for the interview.

At the station, the car to Madina was half-full. I sat in one of the middle seats close to the window. The combination of cool breeze from the window and how tired I was, lured me to sleep; my head, resting on the edge of my seat. After a while, the driver’s mate woke me up from my slumber. Apparently, I had been asleep for long. I was the only passenger in the vehicle. I looked at my wristwatch, it was ten minutes after 8:00 in the morning. The interview was scheduled for 8:00 am and the venue, from Madina, was a ten minutes walk. This meant I was going to be twenty minutes late. I walked as fast as my legs would carry me. In no time, I arrived at the company and the secretary directed me to the HR office. When I entered the office, the HR manager offered me a seat. He was a tall, fine gentleman.

“That’s a nice hairdo you have,” the HR manager muttered sarcastically. I thought of it as a compliment, so I blushed and tried to adjust my wig cap well. When I raised my hand to touch it, I only felt my wretched cornrow over my head. My eyes dilated and for a minute, I couldn’t feel my heart beat; I was awestruck. I quickly dashed out of the office as fast as my tiny legs could carry me, without pausing to look back for even a second. What had just happened? My wig cap had fallen off! I didn’t know where to find it but the Madina car I boarded was my first guess. So I went to the station to inquire and the driver confirmed seeing a wig cap. He gave it to me and I returned home. I didn’t go back for the interview.

This is my day to remember; it is both awkward and hilarious.

Akpene’s Diary,

October 14th, 2019.

Hi Pal, if you enjoyed reading this piece, kindly share the link with your friends. Do share with me in the comment section your awkward “deep sleep in a trotro” experiences.

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